Wow, this is a fascinating tribe. Never really thought to think about my upbringing in this light. I wasn ’t raised on a commune, but my hippie parents defiantly raised me and my older sister, as good hippies should. Vacations were always going gross country, and camping in the woods, hiking all over the place, waking up in a tent and flicking the large northern climate slugs off our entrance flaps. I remember going every year to Vermont to the wood stove conventions, where face painting was always rainbows and beards. Flannel and overalls were uniform. I grew up in Boston, so I wasn ’t as secluded from the “real world ”as some of you, and as soon as I was old enough was sneaking out at night and running all over the city with friends from my public school upbringing. My parents stayed in the city because their hippie ethic brought them to be nurses, doctors, and eventually teachers, ‘cause they wanted to do good in the world, and optometry school was a way to dodge the draft. My dad always kept his ticket from Woodstock in his wallet. Snooping around the house my sisters and I would stumble on old pipes, crusted with old pot, and sometime random junk food maybe my dad had stashed. We were raised mostly on rice cakes and natural peanut butter, and soymilk boxes in our lunch boxes. Grew up on CSN&Y, the doors (who always creeped me out), the Beatles, cream, Hendrix, Janis, Love, Carole King, James Taylor, Free to be you and me, and so many more you would recognize from your folks play lists. My parents tried to use cloth diapers on us, but gave up I think cause they were too busy to deal with it all. We ate meat, but also plenty of tofu. I was also raised in a small town in Maine, where we would go to sing-alongs in various barns. I did my fair share of running around naked. My parents always had weird friends visiting or staying with us for months. One of my parents friends used to always baby-sit us, and tried to put nutmeg in everything, and forced me to like stamp collecting to learn all about other countries. I don ’t know where to stop, there are so many funny memories, but I truly appreciate the life and perspectives they gave me. My parents are still teachers and doctors, and live a bit more comfortable now, allowing themselves little luxuries, and try to eat organic when they can, especially now that they can afford it a little better, thanks to bread and circus, and trader joe ’s. I rebelled in my own ways, and in other ways became more hippie then they were. I am a vegetarian, which they never were, but I don ’t really care for drugs, which I am sure they did. I love camping and hiking still, and the woods and the ocean and the mountains. My families idea of a vacation together is going down to Nicaragua and teaching people about basic eye care and vision problem prevention, and improving our Spanish and hanging out with our friends down there. My family may not be typical, but I think we are pretty cool. I wouldn ’t want it any other way. We are weird and fun, and I am proud of my parents for taking the things they believed in during their Woodstock days and implementing them in realistic ways so that they could be comfortable and still be doing the good they talked about doing for the world when they were younger. My sisters and I are all very political and vocal about it, we have been to our fair share of protests, and are probably more liberal then the folks at this point. They raised a bunch of artists who are doing ok, and the little one right now is working at woman ’s shelters and doing other amazing things for herself. I have plenty of friends who have never had that, and a lot of them are just beginning to learn lessons that my sisters and I began learning long ago. We should be happy to have been raised, no matter how weird, or detrimental it could be, with a different perspective then most, allowing us to question and investigate the other perspectives around us. That is a gift that many don ’t have, we have the gift of seeing things outside the mainstream, because we have been outside the mainstream.
posted by:
Eric
Los Angeles
  • SK
    SK
    offline 22
    I can never decide if I wish my parents had exposed me more to the mainstream or not. I treasure the values and the safety of my childhood, and know that it is a HUGE part of who I am now, but I can't describe the experience of suddenly being deposited in the mainstream (conservative central valley California) at the age of 12. It was horrendous. It pretty much warned me off of people at a really early age.

    I guess it doesn't really matter- I loved my childhood, and if it means I have a different set of values from most of the people I meet, then so be it! I've since learned how to "blend" better, which makes a HUGE difference.
    • Truer words were never said.....
      • I agree that there's a blurring of boundaries that is different between the "peace and love" environment to the "money and profit" environment. I have gotten intimate with someone only to find out that it made them uncomfortable...that gets kinda weird.

        But, I don't think it's a handicap, only because I can SEE it for what it is. The other person did not, and probably COULD not see my actions for what they truly were, even if I had spent all day explaining. So therefore, I had a better perspective on the situation, even if my feelings were hurt. At least I knew WHY my feelings were hurt.

        So, IMO, I'm glad I wasn't raised mainstream.
  • Joe
    Joe
    offline 3
    I have to agree with you, Eric, I'm happy that I grew up the way I did. We were hick hippies, living in the rural areas of eastern Mass, and drugs were a huge part of my parent's scene, but because it was a loose commune, there was always someone to pay attention to me and my brother and sister. It was only when my parents started wanting different futures for the family that things went bad. That, and having to go out and deal with the mainstream world of the damned.

    Integrating myself into mainstream society is something that will never happen now. My brother and sister were much better equipped to pull it off because they were younger. But I'm still haunted by the Utopian Vision of the sixties. I remember it too well, the brother/sisterhood, the sharing, the positive vibrations, the intellectual discourse, the spiritual quality. I've managed to keep all of that alive within myself, and have even found other people who agree with this lifestyle. So I see no reason to worry about the mainstream anymore. It's never done me any favors.

    As far as intimate relationships go, it's a relief to see that I'm not alone in my frustrations.
    • hi, i was not born in a commune but it's in my blood(explain more later) i just found this tribe by accident and i'm so tired). anyway i'm glad you haven't changed to fit in mainstream culture. i think it is mainstream culture that has to change radically in every way in order to move toward being more holistic and even in order to survive(personally and globally). death,decay,destruction,seperation and domination are not life-giving nor sustainable,needless to say.
      not to say any specific commune/living community is healthy. but living clan lifestyle is i beleive, and developing or living in ways that undue the unholistic programming of mainstream culture(there's too many millions to list-perhaps some later<ie, way we do relationship,children,etc)
      i have not fit in mainstream culture(or our culture) since i was a child.

      chriss
    • Unsu...
       
      Are you in my head? Seriously. That's brilliant.

      Mainstream world of the damned.....never done me any favors...

      I have tried to (sort of) conform, or at least give the outward appearance of conformity, because I don't like to be gawked at or anything, but then I think, 'For what?' What is the reward?

      A personal example for me is makeup and shaving my legs. I really don't care for either of those things. I would feel so silly running around with makeup on. I would feel self-conscious and rediculous. Oh well. What if I made myself do those things? What would the reward be? Would redneck men give me a second look? Oh, goody.

      So, no, I haven't been able to conform. And my ideas have never been mainstream. I wonder, how do people remain so blind about some things? I don't mean to sound judgemental, but there are times when I just wonder, why aren't some things obvious to others? (An example, my former in-laws live in the desert, but they insist on having a grassy lawn that they don't hang out on because it's too hot. They have a dishwasher and dishes, but they eat on disposable dishes at home. I feel like that's sacrlilidge, to create so much waste, especially when it can be so easily avoided. Isn't that obvious, I wonder.)

      So, yeah, the conformity thing isn't working out and I'm 31 years old now. I like your take on it, though. Why worry about the mainstream. In some ways, they need to catch up to the counterculture.
  • Unsu...
     
    Mucho gusto!

    You're right. I feel two contradictory things very strongly. Some things sucked. Like the vow of poverty and the culture shock that I experienced when I left the most remote commune. (Not to mention the culture shock that I experienced when I married the hippy son of a Southern Baptist preacher. That didn't work out. I divorced him, but they're still Grandma and Grandpa, the missionaries.)

    I also feel extremely proud. I don't take things like hot running water or heat or electricity for granted, either. I am very aware of the environmental impact of my lifestyle. I was definitely raised by an activist. I was a little surprised as I got older, to find that there were people who were just oblivious. Oblivious to politics, the environment, all kinds of opportunities to get involved and be active. So, I'm proud and a little resentful at the same time. Does that make sense?

    I don't know what my parents were thinking, naming me Govinda Starchild. To a couple of teenage runaways living in the Haight it must have seemed like a fantastic idea. I have asked them if they thought about me trying to rent apartments and get jobs in the future. They said they thought the world would be a much hipper place by now.

    On the other hand, I am an adult now, and I could change my hippy name, and I don't. Why? Well, I guess part of me is proud that I came from the counterculture. I like having funny stories about getting in trouble in elementary school for letting the other kids know that they were eating dead animals. (The principal called my parents and told them to make me stop because kids were refusing to eat their meat at home and at school. My parents said that I was just telling the truth. They were so proud.)

    So, even though I like to vent about the horrible vegan food of the 1970s, I am glad to be raised the way I was.

    Sometimes I do wonder what it would have been like to stay in one city, though.

    My kids are little hippies and they don't even realize it.
    • Thank you for this discussion and your insights into the effects of a hippie upbringing. I must say that where I fall along the spectrum between mainstream and counter-culture has been a lifelong search for identity and survival, a pull between opposing forces, and a rich experience of unfolding the generations of social conditioning and patterning. I am ultimately greatful for the upbringing I had, although I find myself often critical of the shortcomings that my folks and their peers called parenting. Lack of boundaries and discipline was cleverly disquised as freedom, even though it probably came out of laziness and being too high to notice and respond appropriately. I think that one of the other things I am critical about is the myopic viewpoint and intolerance or criticism of others who do not chose the same path. I find it interesting to watch and be a part of how this social movement has changed and transformed - in some cases widened it's spectrum to include the mainstream, and in some cases done nothing short of selling-out. I guess that I struggle with that too. I do want to "fit in" in some ways and be a part of the world. I don't feel that it is my path right now to abandon the mainstream in its entirety. But it is my inevitable path to fight against mediocrity, to stand up for social justice, and to continue to help myself and others along the path to awareness and intentional living - even if I do wear makeup at times and actually like having shaved underarms. There are so many things I am still angry about in the hippie movement, but just as many things that are deeply ingrained in me that I embrace with wild passion.
      Hallelujia!
  • Unsu...
     
    My biggest problem is that I was raised with Student Radical Values but never allowed to retreat from the Straight World. Both of my parents pursued advanced degrees and moved all over the country to do so. So I had to interact with regular kids, in everything from rural to urban environments in a pretty random order (though my best friends growing up tended to fellow Unitarians and the children of Black Pnathers). I frequently got into to trouble for expressing the veiws I was taught and using profanity without hestitation when I was upset, even to Authority Figures.

    In a very real way this drove me into my own Rebellious Values as an adolescent Punk, and later a twenty something Wiccan Goth. Since I was always veiwed as a weirdo upfront, I reveled in it, and only really got involved with fellow freaks (I've never dated a "straight" in my life). I'm glad my parents supported my eccentricity even though it was not their brand of it. They were cool enough to realize that counter cultures change with each generation, having hung around the last of The Beats in their area as under grads.

    Still, my up bringing did leave some indelable imprints. I will never vote Republican, have never used racial or gender based slur words, was never any kind of Christian (though I am Post-Wiccan), Hate WESTERNS and Nazis, have respect for Nature, hate Homophobes, don't drink but love pot, and can't throw a baseball to save my life (but I CAN knock your yes out with a Frisbee).

    I have encountered some things that my Family Values didn't prepare me for too. Like Black Folks who call each other nigger, trust fund Anarchists who espoused anti-semetic political veiws, and Libertarians who loved Ronlad Reagan AND LSD. Generally, I try to understand other points of veiw, unless they person espousing their beleifs is DOGMATIC. Then I just "Whatever" them, and move on.

    My Sibs are qually weird. My sister is a Marketing Executive for a Cable TV company (we were raised to veiw TV as a lie machine), but who ALWAYS votes Democratic and Pro-Choice. My Brother works in the Legal Department of Paramount, but is a Trip-Hop DJ and subversive film screenwriter on his own time. All in all, we lov each other to death, but are all feircly individual. I guess our real family tradition is independant thought and action...
  • I am currently working on thesis for a Masters at NYU's Tisch School of Arts, Interactive Telecommunications Program (ITP). My thesis is researching what happened to the children of hippies. This project will run from February to May 2008. Contact me if you're interested in participating.

    I'm was a hippie kid. From 1966 to 1973 I was raised in the Bay Area, including San Francisco, Mill Valley, and a commune called Rivendale in Mendocino. In 1974 we moved with back-to-the-landers in Southern Maine organized around a small free school called The School Around Us until 1983 when I went to public school as a sophomore.

    I made a documentary on my hippie parents here:
    www.noendpress.com/caleb/do...ary_film/
    And this lead me to think about the kids of the hippies.

    My portfolio is here: www.plocktau.com

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